Where wasn’t I stuck? My business had just taken its last breath, but that was only part of the story. After a marriage of 25 years, I was in the middle of a painful divorce, one I did not want and had not seen coming. My son was away at college and my daughter was about to leave for her first semester at George Washington University. I was going to be stuck in a 5,000-square-foot house, coping with empty nest syndrome, in a suburban town where I had never felt I belonged. My only companion was Bradley, an angry standard poodle, who also missed having the family around him. I was no longer a wife, no longer had my children home and was no longer president of my own company. Where was I stuck? Everywhere!
Gently and with great skill the Master strategically placed the needles into my skin. It felt strange, like a pinch, but it was not as painful as I anticipated. I could feel a wave of energy moving around the needles and all over my body, inside and out. Suddenly, the Master broke the silence: “You have a gift.” I held my breath, hoping he would say more. What was he talking about? After a few moments had passed, he added this: “Do not waste it.” That said, he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.
Stunned by his words, I lay there, reflecting on my life, and on what in the world my “gift” could be.
Overwhelmed by “Stuff ”
I had married my high school sweetheart just three days after my 19th birthday. We built a highly successful jewelry manufacturing business together and had enjoyed, for the vast majority of that time, what was truly a close family life. Now, with my husband and children gone, the packing up of all our lives was left to me. Of course, I was overwhelmed—not just emotionally but also on a practical level by all of the “stuff ” my family had accumulated in the twenty years we’d been in our comfortable, spacious home. I knew much of it would have to go, but making those decisions seemed monumental. I could not possibly fit all my things and all my children’s things into a much smaller city apartment. I would have to make strategic decisions, or take too much with me and live in a cluttered environment.
I have never liked clutter, but one thing I had yet to learn in a more conscious way was how accurately the state of your surroundings reflects the state of your life. If your home or office is filled with clutter, there is no room for new and wonderful things to come into your life or career. Clear out the spaces and you shift the energy. What’s wonderful is that you can often feel the difference almost immediately. In my case I started the process of de-cluttering with baby steps, one drawer and then one closet at a time. The Chinese Master had challenged me to find out where I was stuck in my life so I could let it go and move on. I decided I would try. I felt like I had nothing left to lose. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. His words were powerful and I hung on to them as if they were my lifeline. Still, at that moment, I felt rudderless, lost at sea, devastated.
Determined to attack my clutter in a methodical manner, I created what I call “The SMG System” (Stay, Maybe and Go). I shopped for containers of various sizes. Then I began to work my way through all my possessions. Anything I hadn’t used in a year went into the “Go” pile except for the things that I still found it difficult to separate from. Those went into the “Maybe” pile. The things I was still using went into the “Stay” containers, which I clearly labeled with permanent markers. Over the next few weeks I dumped, donated and packed.
What surprised me was how many things started to easily flow from the “Maybe” to the “Go” pile. If it was a sentimental item that evoked a memory but was definitely not something I would have room for in my new place, I found that if I took a photo of it I could more easily let it go. The longer I looked at various items—clothing, furniture, letters, and so much more that I had accumulated in my daily life—the more I realized that, in truth, I did not need them. With this new attitude, the all-important “Go” pile kept growing.
I had to make a very difficult decision about the family dog. Based on my love for him and understanding of his needs, I knew that Bradley would never be happy in a small apartment in Manhattan. I found a family that lived right on Virginia Beach who fell in love with Bradley and were thrilled to adopt him. Suddenly, with lots of room to run and play and a new household full of love, Bradley was no longer angry. In fact, this wonderful animal brought great joy to this family, whose young mother was fighting cancer. So he too found a second life. Happily, a lot of what I gave away has brought a measure of pleasure to others. This was the beginning of my deeply gratifying and exciting new work—helping others realize their dreams by bringing beauty and harmony to their interiors and into their lives.
Making Room for a New Future
An unexpected and ultimately priceless benefit of this entire meltdown, and the reflective process it forced on me, was that I learned who I really was. Cutting ties, material and otherwise, allowed me to explore the world in a new way. The path I was now following was, for the first time in my life, my own path—not anyone else’s. I had gotten my divorce, sold my house, moved into an apartment in Manhattan and closed my business. My next move was to study for my broker’s license and begin a new career in high-end residential sales. At first, all went beautifully and sales were brisk. But in 2007 the housing bubble burst. The ensuing global financial meltdown hit everyone very hard and my business was no different. My sales quickly dropped by about 30 percent and continued to plummet. So much for the longevity of my new career as a real estate broker!
A New Topic Galvanizes an Audience
In the midst of all this I was invited to speak at an international business conference. The organizers asked me to make a list of possible subjects for my presentation. I sent in about 20 topics, including: “How to create your real estate team”; “How to choose your real estate attorney”; “How to prepare your property for sale”; and “Feng Shui.” I actually had some knowledge about feng shui but, to this day, I am not sure why I put it on the list. As fate would have it, that was the topic they chose, so I had to do some research and become more familiar with the subject before the presentation.
I gave my talk. Afterwards, a line of people formed, all wanting to speak with me one-on-one about some aspect of feng shui. Something had shifted inside me and something extraordinary was happening. As I spoke briefly with each person on that line, I felt an intense personal connection with each individual. The topic was clearly one of great importance to them, and when I had my moment with each one, it was like there was no one else in the room.
Returning home from this successful presentation, I discovered nothing but escalating bad news about the real estate market. If I was going to reinvent myself, I would have to act fast and be resilient. As a problem solver and one who generally tries to look on the bright side of things, I viewed this state of affairs as an opportunity. Thinking back on the unexpected and overwhelming reception to my presentation, I decided to study with a Feng Shui Master to learn more about this fascinating discipline and see where it would take me. As it happens, the person I chose was one of three Feng Shui Masters who were credited with bringing feng shui to the U.S. from China in the 1960s. As I studied with him, expanding my knowledge of the art and science of indoor and outdoor spaces, I kept in mind that unusual jolt of connectivity I had felt with each person at that conference who had asked me about feng shui. Something wonderful was definitely happening inside of me and it was bubbling up to the surface.
We all have gifts but sometimes it takes the right circumstances or the right person at the right time to lead you to them. Fortunately the Chinese Master appeared at the precise time in my life when I was ready to let go of my past and embrace my new path. It actually took me seven years to find my gift. It was a process of self-discovery, combined with extensive and intensive study of both the ancient and the modern. Most of all, it required being open to whatever the universe had in mind for me.
Interestingly, at this moment in time, I feel like I am standing on a key “acupuncture point” in the universe and a turning point in our earth’s history. My hope, in creating EcoChi, is that it has the power and possibility, if utilized by each of us and enough of us, to serve as one of the “needles” that can bring back the vital resurgence of positive energy we