My Cries of Yesterday
Angelica Galbraith
Copyright © 2020 Angelica Galbraith
All rights reserved
First Edition
Fulton Books, Inc.
Meadville, PA
Published by Fulton Books 2020
ISBN 978-1-64654-489-9 (paperback)
ISBN 978-1-64654-851-4 (hardcover)
ISBN 978-1-64654-490-5 (digital)
Printed in the United States of America
Table of Contents
Chapter Five Unprivileged Life
Chapter Six Forward Frustrations
Chapter Seven A Child Having a Child
Chapter Eleven A Polished Life
Chapter Eleven A Polished Life
I would like to dedicate this book to my brothers. Our lives haven’t always been that easy, but our future has turned out better than anyone would have thought. My desire to write this book was difficult, but I finally did it, and there will be many more to come.
Acknowledgments
I wish to thank my Lord Jesus Christ. Without you in my heart, I wouldn’t have been pushed to write this book. To the best husband in the world, I love you and thank you for being by my side. To my children, nothing is impossible, and I love you. To my mother, Christina Ramos Zamora, thank you for changing and being a better mom. To my brothers, Jerry Zamora Jr. and Jeffrey Lee Zamora, and my sister-in-law, Veronica Zamora, you guys are my world. I love you all so much. To my best friend, Erika Rubio, whom I call sister, thank you for always being there through thick and thin. You are the best sister I could ever have. And to those who have hurt me, without you, I would not be the strong woman I am today.
Part One
Part One Innocence Taken
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
—Isaiah 41:10
Chapter One
Not a Home
Waking up in the middle of the night with loud screams had become routine at the age of five. My little brother was always having nightmares. At first, I thought it was a joke because his eyes were always open. I was afraid of my brother, but I also had this tremendous feeling of sadness in my heart that would bring tears to my eyes as I would watch him kick and scream while pinning himself to a corner. I’d ask myself, Why is my brother this way?
It was very hard to see him that way every night. My mother would run to our room and try to wake him, but she wasn’t always successful, so then she would hold him in her arms until he would fall back to sleep. I would lie back down next to him and look out the window just to stare at the moon. I would see two eyes and a smile and then shut my eyes, feeling as if it were telling me everything was going to be okay. Our mornings always started off with the smell of breakfast and music playing. I would get up from my bed slowly, trying not to wake up my little brother from being up all night, run down the stairs while my parents were talking in the kitchen, and jump into my father’s arms. As the Spanish music would play, he would start dancing with me in his arms. I felt like the princess in the books my mother would read to me. I was the happiest kid at that moment.
My father was a very aggressive person who drank too much and wasn’t always working. He would have his friends over at times, and all they ever did was get drunk, sing, and dance. My father came from a family of musicians, so the singing and dancing ran in our blood. My mother was great at maintaining our home and taking care of us. She dealt with a lot of abuse from my father. She was a woman who didn’t really have a mother to show her how to take care of herself. Her mother passed away when she was six, which led to my mother’s lack of a parent’s love. Things with our parents weren’t always ordinary. I never saw my parents being affectionate. In the seventies, if you were having a child, you basically just get married, so it was what I call a had-to relationship.
One day, my mother was getting us ready to go to a party. She was pregnant at the time. I was going to have another little brother. I didn’t know how far along she was, but I did know she was showing. We left for the party, and my father stayed behind, drinking. When the party was almost over, my mother decided it was time to leave because it was getting dark. We got into the car to head back home. My mother got us down and started walking down the walkway to get to the front door. I was holding my brother by the hand, walking toward her, and saw that she had this blank stare while looking at the front two windows that were open.
We had no curtains but this light-brown shade that you could pull down to cover the window, so you could definitely see a silhouette at night if the lights were on. Our stairway started at one of those windows, and we only had one bathroom, which was upstairs. We heard someone coming down, and it was very obvious that it was a woman who was wearing heels.
Next thing I know, my mother was banging on the door, yelling, but no one was answering. I started getting angry, and my mother started heading toward the back door. I told my brother, “Sit on the porch, and I’ll be right back.” I started walking behind her, and I saw this woman coming out the back door and my dad just standing there with a smile on his face as if it were all a joke. My mother tried to grab her, but my father stopped her, and the other woman walked away.
I was so angry and had so many questions: Why was my father acting this way? Who was this woman? Why was she in our home? in our bathroom? in our bedroom? Was she in my room? My mother was crying as she walked inside, and I ran back to my brother. She opened the front door and told us to get inside.
I felt this unsafe feeling walking in. I knew there was going to be a fight, and when that happened, it was my mother who always took the hits. “Go upstairs,” she said. And I heard her yell, “I want a divorce!” My brother and I walk into our room, and I looked around as if that woman had taken something from our rooms and bathroom. Now that I think of it, I must have looked hilarious walking into every room as if we had just gotten robbed.
My brother was so traumatized by all the fighting that went on that he just went straight to his corner of the bed. As we lay next