Twitch and Shout, Hallelujah, Amen
Poems of Love, Forgiveness, and Living with Tourette’s Syndrome
Gregory John Nashif
Foreword by Scott Waters
Twitch and Shout, Hallelujah, Amen
Poems of Love, Forgiveness and Living with Tourette’s
Copyright © 2019 Greg Nashif. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical publications or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher. Write: Permissions, Wipf and Stock Publishers, 199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3, Eugene, OR 97401.
Resource Publications
An Imprint of Wipf and Stock Publishers
199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3
Eugene, OR 97401
www.wipfandstock.com
paperback isbn: 978-1-5326-7297-2
hardcover isbn: 978-1-5326-7298-9
ebook isbn: 978-1-5326-7299-6
Manufactured in the U.S.A. 12/11/18
My Tribute
Sometimes, when life gets the best of us, and we get lonely, down and feeling afraid of what things in life will come my way.
And when it looks like all things are lost, at that moment The Lord brings to me a kind and loving spirit, with a firm but gentle hand;
Who shares with me the willingness of his human heart to guide me through the darkest moments of my life.
To teach me about integrity, and honesty. Leading me to find the Lord’s ever abiding love.
Because of your kindness, and gentle heart, you have taught me that I am never alone, if I have a friend in Jesus.
I want you to know how much you mean to me, and how much I will miss your gentle touch, your warm smile, and those special hugs.
And when I die, and Leave this earth, as His little child now safely in the soft embrace of Jesus’ arms. I will come ever close and softly whisper in His ear, and let the Lord know how good you truly were to me.
And Jesus smiled.
In Jesus Name this Book is Written
This volume of poetry is dedicated to all the “unlovelies” of the world, who because of their disabilities have been outcasts in society
And to all my friends who over the years have loved, supported me, and have given me comfort, through all the trials of my life.
For in Him we live and move, and have our being, as certain also your own poets have said, “for we are his offspring.”
—Acts 17:28
Foreword
To the reader of this sacred story:
What you are about to read is a non-linear story written in some prose but mostly verse. This poetic journal is written out of a lot of experience in the life of a man who from an early age, was misunderstood. Greg consistently was talked down to and mocked for his differences.
Greg Nashif started his life with Tourette’s syndrome. At the time of his adolescence he was abused. This compounded the nature of his rejection and pain as he was not only told he was worthless, but he became a victim of people who exploited his vulnerability. He has faced a lot of rejection and pain.
I’ve gotten to know Greg as a friend for the last 7 years or so, walking alongside him in his angst and frustration. This time I’ve spent with him has helped me grow in empathy and love. His hurt has been a point of which he has grown and matured into a grace-filled man; learning to forgive and love in the direst of circumstances. This means he has eyes and ears to find the least of these and shine the love of God in their experience.
I cannot capture the level of love in Greg’s heart with words. What I can say is that amidst the oppression he faced, he always ended up turning to God to speak life into the despair that consumed him. It may have taken him years for somethings and months for others. His journey and internal process which you are about to read is so vulnerable and filled with courage. I dare you to read it without shedding a tear.
Ultimately this is a story of victory. The verses Greg wrote share his story about God’s redeeming grace. I hope you see yourself somewhere in the verses and can conclude that he ultimately kept coming back to.
God is the one who redeems and makes all things new. So, while you read, enjoy your own twitch and shout for the work God has and is doing in your life.
Blessings,
Scott Waters, MA, LPC
Introduction
I thought long and hard about how to write this poetry book;
Where do I start? I am not sure where to begin. . .
“Begin at the beginning, young fella!” an old man yelled out.
“Who’s there?” I questioned.
“Just—Start—From—the Beginning,” said the old man.
I think I am finally going crazy. Now I am hearing all kinds of voices, just start from the beginning; of course, you always start from the beginning, What a cliché. That is of course the normal thing to do, is it not?
“Hey voice” I shouted out.
“I am listening,” said the old man.
“I can tell you, with absolute certainty, that I am not a cliché, and I am not normal either! Urp, Urp, yelp, yelp yelp . . . ” Tic, tic, tic . . . tap, tap, tap. I TWITCH and SHOUT.
“Ok young fella, you made your point, now stop all that nonsense, all that ruckus, you’re driving me Insanitatible.”
“Urp, Urp, yelp, yelp yelp . . . ” Tic, tic, tic. . . tap, tap, tap; TWITCH and SHOUT.
“Fella please stop that now, are you trying to annoy me?”
“Urp, Urp, yelp, yelp yelp . . . ” Tic, tic, tic . . . tap, tap, tap; TWITCH and SHOUT.
The voice yelling out for the final time, “STOP THAT INSANITY!!!!”
“But I cannot, “I replied,” I simply can’t get away from you, because you are me! You see, I am Tourette’s.”
For years, I just kept talking to myself; feeling sorry for myself. “Why me? Why do I have to be burdened with this horrible thing called Tourette Syndrome?”
Tourette’s is not fatal, although I did think at various times, how much easier it would be just to pack up my bags, and hitchhike to a land of peace and joy; a spirit land with no pain or suffering, no noises or tics, twitching or shouting. It was all Psych-Illogical to me until 1970, when I accepted Christ the Lord into my life and began a journey to salvation, hope, peace, joy, and redemption.
I have been through many struggles, trials and tribulations. In them I always end up remembering that the Lord does not allow me to go through anything I cannot handle: with each trial He offers me a way of escape, so I can bear it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
As I look at all the events I have been through, I can see what an awesome adventure of Love, Forgiveness and Living with Tourette’s it has been. These writings are little glimpses into my life: some of these poems were written during times of distress, some brought comfort to my soul and uplifted my spirit.
It is my hope and prayer that this book inspires you to be the men and women that God desires us to become.