Praise for
The Bullpen Gospels
“After many minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years spent in the bullpen, I can verify that this is a true picture of baseball.”
—Tim McCarver
“There are great truths within, of the kind usually unspoken. And as he expresses them, Dirk Hayhurst describes himself as ‘a real person who moonlights as a baseball player.’ In much the same manner, while The Bullpen Gospels chronicles how all of us face the impact when we learn reality is both far meaner and far richer than our dreams—it also moonlights as one of the best baseball books ever written.”
—Keith Olbermann
“A bit of Jim Bouton, a bit of Jim Brosnan, a bit of Pat Jordan, a bit of Crash Davis, and a whole lot of Dirk Hayhurst. Often hilarious, sometimes poignant. This is a really enjoyable baseball read.”
—Bob Costas
“Fascinating…a perspective that fans rarely see.”
—Trevor Hoffman, pitcher for the Milwaukee Brewers and baseball’s all-time leader in saves
“The Bullpen Gospels is a rollicking good bus ride of a book. Hayhurst illuminates a baseball life not only with wit and humor, but also with thought-provoking introspection.”
—Tom Verducci, Sports Illustrated
“Dirk Hayhurst has written a fascinating, funny, and honest account on life in the minor leagues. I loved it. Writers can’t play baseball, but in this case a player sure can write.”
—Tim Kurkjian, senior writer, ESPN The Magazine, and analyst/reporter, ESPN television
“Bull Durham meets Ball Four in Dirk Hayhurst’s hilarious and moving account of life in baseball’s glamour-free bush leagues.”
—Rob Neyer, ESPN.com
“If Holden Caulfield could dial up his fastfall to 90 mph, he might have written this funny, touching memoir about a ballplayer at a career—and life—crossroads. He might have called it ‘Pitcher in the Rye.’ Instead, he left it to Dirk Hayhurst, the only writer in the business who can make you laugh, make you cry, and strike out Ryan Howard.”
—King Kaufman, Salon
“The Bullpen Gospels is a funny, bone-tickling, tear duct-stimulating, feel-good story that will leave die-hard baseball fans—and die-hard human beings, for that matter—well, feeling good.”
—Bob Mitchell, author of Once Upon a Fastball
the Bullpen Gospels
Major League Dreams of a Minor League Veteran
DIRK HAYHURST
Citadel Press
Kensington Publishing Corp.
To Bonnie,
for loving the man beneath the jersey.
And to my family,
for supporting him while he reached for it.
A Note from the Author
It’s no easy undertaking to write a book. It’s especially hard to write a book about professional baseball while playing it. Thanks in large part to the exposé-style works that have come out in the past, any book about baseball from a player/author is met with incredulity and paranoia. Despite the rough-and-tumble, thick-skinned persona needed to survive in this industry, telling a story about what happens behind the scenes is a sensitive subject.
That said, I’d like to tell the reader that this book’s purpose is to entertain, not to name names; pull the cover off the bare ass of drug use; show cheaters, adulterers, or tax dodgers; or do any other whistle-blowing. If you are looking for someone’s dirty laundry, you won’t find it here. I know it stands to reason that if those things didn’t exist in the sport, there would be no paranoia—and I hear ya—I’m just saying, it’s not in this book.
Names have been changed at the request of some players and at my discretion, to give them more of a character feel as well as to protect identity. Some characters within are composites blended together for ease of reading. Everything in this work is based on actual occurrences, though I have attempted to conceal identities for the benefit of those who may not want to deal with any extra drama this book may bring their way. Mind you, I was a teammate before I tried my hand at writing, and I hope to be one long after this book is published.
Furthermore, I believe there is more to the game than steroids and scandals. I also believe there is more to the game than just baseball. For all the great things baseball is, there are some things it is absolutely not. And that is what this story is all about.
Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-one
Chapter Twenty-two
Chapter Twenty-three
Chapter Twenty-four
Chapter Twenty-five
Chapter Twenty-six
Chapter Twenty-seven
Chapter Twenty-eight
Chapter Twenty-nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-one
Chapter Thirty-two
Chapter Thirty-three
Chapter Thirty-four
Chapter Thirty-five
Chapter Thirty-six
Chapter Thirty-seven
Chapter Thirty-eight
Chapter Thirty-nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-one
Chapter Forty-two
Chapter Forty-three
Chapter Forty-four
Chapter Forty-five
Chapter Forty-six
Chapter Forty-seven
Chapter Forty-eight
Prologue
When we won the division in the first half of 05, I had nothing to do with it. Hell, I was lucky to be employed. I was deadweight on a team full of prospects—a