something remains
something remains
hassan ghedi santur
Copyright © Hassan Ghedi Santur, 2010
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise (except for brief passages for purposes of review) without the prior permission of Dundurn Press. Permission to photocopy should be requested from Access Copyright.
Editor: Michael Carroll
Designer: Jennifer Scott
Printer: Transcontinental
Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Santur, Hassan Ghedi
Something remains / Hassan Ghedi Santur.
ISBN 978-1-55488-465-0
I. Title.
PS8637.A67S65 2009 C813’.6 C2009-903004-7
1 2 3 4 5 14 13 12 11 10
We acknowledge the support of the Canada Council for the Arts and the Ontario Arts Council for our publishing program. We also acknowledge the financial support of the Government of Canada through the Book Publishing Industry Development Program and The Association for the Export of Canadian Books, and the Government of Ontario through the Ontario Book Publishers Tax Credit program, and the Ontario Media Development Corporation.
Care has been taken to trace the ownership of copyright material used in this book. The author and the publisher welcome any information enabling them to rectify any references or credits in subsequent editions.
J. Kirk Howard, President
Printed and bound in Canada.
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To my mother, for sacrifices too many to mention
Contents
6 great many things and many great things
10 holy war
11 something closer to love
12 the burial
13 when things fall apart
14 come in from the cold
15 scar tissue
16 the lavender dress
17 the magic of thought
18 the end of all things good
19 the boy who loved ants
20 the woman with tangerine hair
21 they come running
22 something remains
23 a pledge
24 everything put back together
To paraphrase that African proverb, it takes a village to raise a child; it also takes a village to publish a novel. I would like to thank everyone at Dundurn Press, and in particular, my deep gratitude to my editor, Michael Carroll, for his faith and guidance.
I would also like to thank the Toronto Public Library for its wonderful writer-in-residence program. It was through that program that I met Dennis Bock, Eliza Clark, and Helen Humphreys. Special thanks to Helen Humphreys for her kindness and generosity. To get the encouragement and critique of these talented writers meant so much to me. Thanks also to the wonderfully supportive members of my former writing group: David Whitton, Nitin Deckha, and Shari Lapena. I have so many fond memories of our monthly meetings. To Debbie Wolgelerenter, Bernice Landry, and Mary O’Connell, thank you for your friendship, support, advice, and ideas.
During my years at York University, I was blessed with many amazing professors, but I would like to give particular thanks to Marie Rickard and Janet Lewis for seeing a potential in me I didn’t know I had.
But most of all, my deepest gratitude and love to my mom, my brothers, and my sisters — they are that special something that always remains.
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind …
—William Wordsworth,
“Ode on Intimations of Immortality from
Recollections of Early Childhood”
Grief moves us like love. Grief is love …
Love as a backwards glance.
— Helen Humphreys, The Lost Garden
I wish I had my camera, Andrew Christiansen thinks to himself as he leans against the wall-to-wall glass window that offers a perfect