Chokwadi chinosekesa
StaVl Zosimov Premudroslovsky
© StaVl Zosimov Premudroslovsky, 2019
ISBN 978-5-0050-9806-1
Создано в интеллектуальной издательской системе Ridero
Kutanga SEASON
noti 1
mwari vakaridza muridzo
Mushure mekunge ndanyorera amai vangu: «Huyai mama, mamai!», Ndakafamba ndakananga kuimba yandaigara nzara yekudzidza uye ndikafunga:
– Ndeupi musiyano uripo pakati pevaRussia nemaAmericans nemaEuropean?
– Uye nenyaya yekuti ivo vanogara uye vanofunga zvine musoro, isu hatibvumirwe. – Ini ndakazvipindura ndokuenderera mberi. Ini ndaida kumwa – inotyisa nekuruma. Ndiri kuenda, saka ndiri kuenda nenzira kune alley kure kure kweye kongiri-yematanda fenzi yeimwe bhizimusi rekugadzira. Ndiri kuona kuti kwasviba. Ini ndinonzwa kuti kune rimwe divi remadziro mumwe munhu anoita runyararo, asi achibaya, asingakwanise kuridza muridzo. Ini ndakapindurawo. Ndiri kuona kuti hombodo ye mbatatisi inobhururuka kubva kune chimwe chinhu kune rumwe rutivi rwemadziro, yakarongedzwa nechimwe chinhu pandiri. Ndakakwenya, uye bhegi rakabata kubuda kweimbwa yeimwe bere risingazivikanwe, harina kunonoka kumberi kwangu. Ndakaenda kwaari, ndikamuongorora zvinoshamisa, uye, ndisingafungiri kana kufunga chero chinhu, ndikamusunungura, uye ipapo …, apo?! Ikoko aive akazara akasungwa, kunyangwe akatsimbirirwa nesosi yekusvuta. Pasina kufunga nezve chero chinhu, ndakaburitsa rimwe panze, ndikabata bhegi neapuro yaAdam uye, ndokukanda pamapfudzi angu, ndakawedzera nekukurumidza nekukurumidza kweFerrari ndakananga kuimba yangu yekubatira, ndichidya sosi iyi isingakanganwike munzira.
Ndakabva ndangoda kudzidza uye kurarama.
Chii chakaitika ipapo?! Kuzya. Lee: iye muridzo, iye anogadzira mbatatisi, anove chizvarwa weSytytykkar uye akauya kushamwari yake pamwe naye: mugari weAldyrbaguy gorge, purazi «Ndipei ndidye», iro randakatamba senhapwa uye asingatauri Russian.
– Chikwama chiri kupi? Kuzya akabvunza.
– Uye iwe wakamukanda? – ChiHebheru comrade vakapindura mubvunzo.
– Uye iwe wakaridza muridzo?
– Uye iwe..??
Ipapo kunouya kurira mbeveve. Asi nokutendeseka, sausage yacho yaipisa-yakatetepa uye inonaka…
P.S: Takatengesa pasi pebhegi kumhuri uye takazadzwa negungwa re swill nehupenzi… Chirongwa chakapihwa bang…
noti 2
Nguruve showdown
Rimwe zuva, nekuda kwekusapa musangano uyu, vakandiendesa munhare dzevarwi veSoviet Union, kureva uto. Ikoko, mumwedzi, ndakakanganwa zvese zvandaidzidza munzvimbo dzinochengeterwa vana, kindergarten, muchikoro chepamusoro uye muzvikoro zviviri zvekudzidzisa zvine huwandu: mazana manomwe nemakumi masere nemazana mapfumbamwe nemakumi mana nenhatu makumi maviri nemakumi mana emakore, kwaive kuruboshwe rweguta kubva pambabvu kuenda kune mhanza. pasitadhi.
Takamira, saka tenge tiri pabasa pabasa rekunopinda muchiuto unit nekuputa fodya pamusuwo. Ipapo kwaive nenhamo munyika yedu isina kuzorora. Iyo nguva yaive yakaoma, midzanga mapaundi matatu pamwedzi. Uye chikamu chedu chiri padyo nepurazi rekudyidzana «Bull udder» uye ichi ichokwadi. Saka isu tinomira uye tinoputa, uye Baba Yaga vanobuda kumashure kwemuti. Chokwadi, zita rake ainzi Jadwiga. Zvakanaka. – isu tinofunga, – chinyakare huku uye, kunyangwe iyo, isu tinorota nezvemakwenzi ane madema. Uye anopopota, achikanganisa pfungwa dzedu. Iye matsi uye ibofu.
– Ah, mauto, pindura, www?!
– B, iwe benzi, chii chauri kuchema? Isu tiri mazana masere nemaviri masentimita kure newe?! Kumashure kwefenzi!!
– As?
– Bes! – akapindura mushandi webasa zvakare. – Chii chaunoda, chiti, kana enda karoti?
– Me, anodaro sekuru sekuru. – iwe unofanirwa kuenda kunotengesa, – uye kunyemwerera, – yenguruve shoma, Boryusenka. Ndichaisa mwedzi pamatafura, kunyange uchindipa.
– Chii chauinacho ikozvino? Ndakabvunza, murume akaona inguruve chete ku zoo, asi nekuda kwechimwe chikonzero ivo vanonzi hippos.
– As?
– Dras!! Chii chakauya newe?? Ndakadzokorora nezwi.
– Ini ndichakupa imwe nyama yenguruve … – pasina kunzwa kana kusanzwisisa mubvunzo wangu, iyo yekare yakapindurwa.
– Iye, munzira, anobhururuka agaric gluttonous.. – Ndakanongedza, pamberi pevaeni vangu.
– Uye unogarepi? – akabvunza shamwari
– Uye iwe unouya kumusha uye ubvunze Yadu, migwagwa yedu haina mbeveve.
– Chii? Arsenic, kana chii? Ndakasheedzera munzeve yake, kuita kunge maikorofoni.
– Kwete, mudiwa wangu! Hehe.. Bvunza Yad Vigu!!
– Uye uchauya rinhi? – akabvunza comrade.
– Uye pakupera kwevhiki, masikati! Ini handisi kuzomudyisa chete. – vakapindura ambuya ndokuenda kunotora spiky green bus.
Ndichipedza, ndakabvunza mumwe wangu.
– Comrade, wakauraya nguruve here?
– Ehe saizvozvo. Ini ndaigara mune rimwe purazi remapurazi.
Svondo yasvika. Isu takatizira muAWOL kuburikidza nekona iri kure yefenzi. Takasvika pamusha pasina kana dambudziko uye zvakange zvakatiomera kuti tiwane imba yavo, kunyanya sezvo kwaingova nedzimba shanu mumusha, uye muhotera iine vashandi vanobva kune imwe nyika, mapuranga. Huya zvinoreva kwaari. Uye iye uye chingwa, uye munyu, uye kunyange iyo goof yakawanikwa. Isu takadya chikafu chemusango uye tikanwa zvimwe.
– Zvakanaka, mukadzi mukuru? – comrade yakatanga. – iripi nguruve?
– Ehe, inguruve, inodikanwa mudura. akapindura achipinda muroom. Anotora imwe hafu-metres. Inovhura uye inodhonza pfumo rezana rechishanu ramakore BC, sezviri pachena kubva pazera re. Ngura, ngura uye mubato wakarukwa netepi yemagetsi.
– Hepano, vanakomana, uyu ndiye wangu Josefa anonoka, kumashure kuHondo Yenyika I Grant. Paaive mufekitori yenyama, aigara uye akacheka vanhu vese: kunyangwe mombe nehuku.
Ndainzwa kusagadzikana kutarisa kwaari Stakhanovsky, akajeka kutarisa. Shamwari yakatora banga kubva pamaoko enhare..
– Huya unondiudza. -Kupi kwaraifudza, A?
Anotishandura kuva bura.
– Ipapo, – anoti, – Mudiwa wangu Borusenka.
Nokutendeseka, ini ndinotarisa izvi Borusenka uye maziso angu ari kumashure kwezeve dzangu.
Yake corral yakapfurwa pasi kubva pamabhodhi ane slits maviri nhatu. Uye kubva kuChrisvice slots mapepa uye tsvimbo inorembera mu elastic. Sezviri pachena iyi ndiyo piglet Boryushishche hafu yehupenyu uye haanyepi.
– Ah, madhiri angu, ndichaenda kutumba. – akapfugama ambuya, achifukidza muromo wake wetiothless nemakona ehafu. -Uye iwe unonyanya kungwarira ne boryusenka. Ndini ndega kubva kuhama dzangu. Hapana mumwezve, ndinomuchengeta kubva pakuzvarwa. Mhoroi, mombe dzangu dzirikumhara. Yyyyyyy!! – mukadzi wekare akarira uye akabva angomira achifemedzeka mune imwe yakawira pasi, achichinja izwi rake kubva pakunyorova kuenda kumabhass. -Uye usakanganwa, vafo, ndinayo yekutengesa…
– Zvese zvichange vachipopota, gogo!!! – Comrade yakakurudzira uye yakatendeukira kwandiri. – Uye iwe, shamwari yangu, ndibatsirei kunze, kuvhura gedhi.
Ndakanyarara ndichiuya ndikabvisa turntable, gedhi rakagomera, uye nguruve haina kana kufambisa nzeve yake. Kick bastard. Zvakanaka, shamwari yangu haina kuvhiringidzika ipapo, uye nesimba rake rose, kuti anocheka sei inguruve mu nickel, akagwina pakati uye akakwira. Nickel, saizi yeplate. Mushure memasekondi mashoma, nguruve yakavhura ziso rake rekurudyi, uye ipapo kuruboshwe. Kwakazozara kunzverwa, uye «mammons» anonzi Kurwisa akasvetukira pamabhuruku ake achimerera kubva mudumbu rake, makumbo ake asina kucherechedzwa.
Achikwenya nemaziso ese kuiri, ndokuzoregedza