9. True freedom comes from how you respond to life and not from what life does to you.
10. Whatever the question, love is the answer.
Understanding these ten secrets has radically transformed my own life and the lives of many people with whom I’ve shared them. What I found is that, if at any moment I am unhappy, if I am upset or not feeling centered, if I have lost my sense of inner contentment and safety, it’s because I’m violating one of these ten principles. I’m sabotaging my own happiness. And on the other hand, when I remember these secrets and put their lessons into practice, I feel powerful. I feel peaceful. I feel free.
What’s exciting about the ten secrets is the astonishing revelation that you already have everything you need right now to be happy. There is nothing wrong with you that needs to be fixed; there is nothing missing in you that you need to find and replace. You actually don’t need to add anything to who you are, but rather, to get in touch with what you already have inside of you. That’s why this isn’t a book about self-improvement—it’s about self-discovery.
This is the essential message of Secrets About Life: that true emotional security cannot be found in hoping that our plates will keep spinning correctly, or hoping the sea of our lives will remain calm and no big waves will come and capsize our boats. The security we seek, the protection we long for, comes from creating an inner anchor, an inner self-reliance, so that no matter what happens on the outside, we remain firmly connected to a source of unlimited strength and peace on the inside. No matter what happens, we do not drown.
When the vision of Reality comes, the veil of ignorance is completely removed. As long as we perceive things falsely, our false perception distracts and makes us miserable. When our false perception is corrected, misery ends also.
SHANKARA
There are times in our lives when we really are ripe for growth.
There are times when you are so ready to make a shift, that if you don’t make it you become very uncomfortable. There are times when, if you stay where you are, you’re going to suffer because you’re not moving to where you need to be. If you’re lucky, just when you start to feel you really do need to make a change, God, or the universe of Divine Intelligence, or whatever you want to call that greater power, places something in your path that is exactly what you need in order to take the next step. Maybe it’s a person who inspires you to reevaluate yourself, or an experience that forces you to change, or a book that says just what you need to hear. These are magical moments when everything is in place, as if someone has arranged for you to see the picture of your life as it truly is, and suddenly the curtain goes up. And you look and you exclaim: “Oh, my gosh, I didn’t see this before.” The truth you see about yourself takes you to a new level of strength and power, a new depth of love and passion.
You’re holding this book in your hands and reading these words because, whether you knew it or not, whether you expected it or not, this is one of those magical times for you. You are scheduled for a profound shift in your consciousness. Something wonderful is about to happen to you! Can’t you feel it?
As we enter this new millennium, we are living in the midst of a very potent time ripe with opportunitites for tremendous growth, tremendous awakening. It’s as if a big wind is suddenly blowing through our lives, and that wind is the force of change, a benevolent, unstoppable force the purpose of which is to remove all those patterns and attitudes and old beliefs that are holding us back, and elevate all of us to a new, more expanded, and less fearful way of living. Have you noticed that wind beginning to blow on the inside and the outside of your own life? It has certainly been blowing strongly in mine, and I’ve also noticed this same process happening to almost everyone I know who is really sincere about becoming a more conscious human being. It’s as if you have all the details of your life, your relationship, and your career all neatly and nicely stacked like an orderly pile of papers, and then, without warning, this huge breeze appears and blows all the papers up into the air. And you run around trying to pick up the flying papers and put them back where they belong, but the wind just keeps coming.
If you suspect that something has been stirring up your life, it has. It is the wind of change, the wind of grace. And if you listen carefully, you will hear it whispering to you: “It’s time for more joy and less suffering; it’s time for more freedom and less fear; it’s time to remember who you really are.”
This book is written in a woman’s voice. It’s not that these secrets about life aren’t universal, or don’t apply to men, for they do. But I wanted to offer this book as an invitation particularly to women, to my sisters in spirit, to invite you to share in the fruits of my own years of seeking and discovering. I believe that it is essential for us as women to teach each other, for when we honor the teacher in each other, we are then able to recognize the teacher in ourselves. I had so few female role models growing up, and my first guides, gurus, seminar leaders, mentors, and counselors were all men, which is the way it has been for so many of us. I feel honored that, in my work, I have been able to be a female guide for men and women alike, for I believe that something unique and magical comes through women when we teach others, and something is received that one cannot receive from a man—not something better, just something different. And yet, of course, this book is for men, too, and you will know just the ones with whom you need to share it …
Finally, Secrets About Life is a gift, not from me to you, but from you to yourself. You may believe you are reading this book because you think it might be interesting, or because a friend gave it to you, but I will tell you a secret: you are holding this book in your hand because it is time for you to receive a gift, a gift from God or whatever force of grace you believe in. Have you been asking for help in the silence of your own heart lately? Have you been praying for guidance? Have you been feeling you are ready to make a breakthrough? Perhaps the gift of information contained in these pages is what you’re finally ready to hear. As the writer, I am just the person passing on the gift, as it was passed on to me. I invite you to read not only with an open mind, but with an open heart, and with the intention of receiving the messages that are meant just for you. Let the words penetrate deep into your being. Let them speak to your hungry spirit.
The great philosopher Plato once said that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” The truth is, there’s no greater gift you could give yourself than the time and the space to look within. There’s no greater gift you could give to anybody else in your life—your partner, your children, your friends, your family, and even strangers. When you really look within, you will not be the same person when you bring your awareness back out again. Inside, there are such mysteries, there are such wonders, there is so much waiting to reveal itself to you. When you understand and work with these secrets, your ordinary moments can be filled with profound awakening and you can begin to live a life that gives you back all you hope for.
I invite you to walk with me and take the most important journey of all, the journey that will lead you back to the core of your self, the journey whose destination is an inner source of untouchable joy and contentment, the journey whose ultimate gift to you will be a state of true and lasting freedom. This kind of freedom is available to you right now, if you will only give yourself permission to experience it.
My dear one, are you ready to start living the kind of life you always knew was possible?
Offered with great love,
BARBARA DE ANGELIS
SECRET NUMBER ONE Everything You Need to Be Happy Is Inside of You
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON
Let me tell you a story whose origins are from ancient India about the search for happiness:
In