Contents
Step 1 Understanding negotiation methods
Step 3 Take control in the early stages
Step 4 Propose, bargain and agree
Step 5 Find the win-win window
Step 6 Deal with difficult moments
UNDERSTANDING NEGOTIATION METHODS
‘No question is ever settled until it’s settled right.’ — Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850–1919), Poet
Five ways to succeed
Negotiate to invest in relationships, not to damage them.
Recognize how frequently you negotiate in everyday life.
Always ensure there is enough time for negotiations.
Identify what you can concede to help reach agreement.
Learn as much as you can about your opposite number.
Five ways to fail
Take up a fixed negotiating position, and don’t give in.
Use the methods that have worked for you before.
Don’t waste time planning; spontaneity gets results.
Never build relationships before negotiations.
Don’t assign team roles; let everyone speak equally.
What is negotiation?
Hear the word ‘negotiation’ and you’ll probably imagine sharp-suited executives haggling across a gleaming boardroom table, or millionaire footballers hammering out transfer deals with big-name clubs. Whatever comes to mind, it’s unlikely that the images you come up with are of people just like you. Inexplicably, we associate the word ‘negotiation’ with people who are rich and powerful: that negotiating is something we’ll never have to do. But that’s just the thing; we negotiate all the time, every one of us, with varying success.
So, if it’s not just boardroom stuff, what is it? At its core, negotiation is nothing more than a dialogue between two or more parties working towards making an agreement, resolving a conflict, or reaching mutually beneficial goals. Sound familiar? In fact, you’ve probably negotiated a couple of times before lunch today already. In its most common guise, negotiation is the simple process of explaining your needs, exploring options and reaching agreement in ways that make life more navigable. At its most strategic, these basic tactics are formalized into standard procedures that can, for example, help businesses work together, help ambassadors improve international relations, and in the direst circumstances, save the lives of prisoners and hostages.
Why should we negotiate?
In an effort to appear easy-going, we may often avoid speaking out for the things that we want or need from life, whether that be in personal relationships or in our working lives. This means we’ll avoid negotiation, because it just doesn’t feel natural. Many of us assume that negotiating will jeopardize ongoing relationships with a loved one, or with an employer. But in many cases, this assumption is wrong, and avoiding negotiation means everyone loses: the partner in a relationship who never voices their needs may be taken for granted and decide to leave; the single parent who won’t ask for flexible working may end up quitting a good job for a dead-end one that better fits the school day. But by careful negotiation, such endings can be avoided. The key is identifying, and striving for, areas of mutual advantage that will allow everyone to benefit in some way (often called a win-win situation). If this happens, both relationships can emerge intact, or even improved. Negotiating needn’t necessarily entail conflict; there may be tough moments on the way to resolution, but by negotiating the problem side by side, you’re actually investing in the future relationship, rather than damaging it.
Different negotiation environments
Though we negotiate constantly in our daily lives, the prospect of negotiating at work can still be terrifying. If you’re feeling like this, it’s worthwhile looking closer at everyday negotiation environments and noting how they use repeated and recognizable processes. Acknowledging these skills you’ve developed ‘off-duty’ can help you build a portfolio of negotiation experience to apply in the workplace.
Resolving conflict
To successfully resolve disputes we create a setting in which each party can air their grievances objectively. Both sides must try not to let anger cloud the issues, because ‘getting personal’ just doesn’t help. Both may then explain the areas they find unreasonable. Exploring how the dispute has come about and developed is an important step in preventing recurrence. Having identified the problem, it’s time to propose solutions for mutual benefit. Facing conflict promptly is central to resolution. This may sound like a complex set of procedures, but it’s likely you’ve navigated them a thousand times, whether resolving an argument with your partner, or agreeing the line of a boundary fence with your neighbour. Next time you resolve conflict at home, note the actions you undertook, and consider how you might use them in the workplace.
Making decisions
A negotiated decision’s central premise is that you are trying to reach a decision that’s ‘better’ than would have been possible without negotiating. Say you have to agree with another team from your office on a new software package that you both need. To reach a decision, both sides must research options to understand the