The Power of Social Intelligence
Tony Buzan
Dedication
This book is dedicated to the celebration of the extraordinary Social Intelligence of my friend and Personal Assistant, Lesley Bias, and to the 20th anniversary of our working together. During that time Lesley has dealt personally with hundreds of thousands of people from all walks of life and from approximately 100 different countries around the world. She is universally admired and held in great affection.
Lesley, this one's for you!
Contents
Title Page
Dedication
List of Mind Maps®
Chapter 1: What is Social Intelligence – And Why Does it Matter?
Chapter 2: Reading People – Body Language and How to Master It
Chapter 3: The Art of Listening
Chapter 4: Making Connections
Chapter 5: How to Shine in Groups
Chapter 6: ‘Attitood’ About Attitude
Chapter 7: Negotiations – How to Win Friends and Influence People
Chapter 8: Social Graces – Or What to Do When …
Chapter 9: Signposts for Social Success
Chapter 10: The ‘Power of Ten’
Social Intelligence Survey Questionnaire – Answers
Picture Section
Acknowledgements
Other Books by Tony Buzan
Copyright
About the Publisher
List of Mind Maps®
Summary Mind Map® of Chapter 2 – Who Am I? – how you project yourself – knowledge, communication, body language.
Summary Mind Map® of Chapter 3 – Listening Skills – balancing listening and speaking – the 2:1 ratio, developing listening skills.
Summary Mind Map® of Chapter 4 – Networking – meeting and influencing people – presentation, first and last impressions.
Summary Mind Map® of Chapter 5 – How to Shine in Groups – standing out from the crowd, using your brain to impress – memory, names, conversation.
Summary Mind Map® of Chapter 6 – Confidence Building – relating to others through self-confidence, inspiring confidence – attitudes and behaviour.
Summary Mind Map® of Chapter 7 – Negotiation – resolving conflicts and disagreements amicably – compromise, patience, understanding.
Summary Mind Map® of Chapter 8 – Social Graces – showing care and consideration – thanks, celebrations, gifts, condolences.
Summary Mind Map® of Chapter 9 – Planning a Party – applying what you have learned.
What Is Social Intelligence –
And Why Does It Matter?
Chapter One
Does the thought of walking into a party full of total strangers fill you with dread?
Does the idea of making small talk with your possible future in-laws leave you a gibbering wreck?
Have you ever been introduced to a group of people, only to forget their names instantly and flounder for something to say?
Do you want to make a good impression at a job interview, but are so nervous you can hardly speak?
Do you wish that you could happily talk to people and make friends easily?
If any of the above scenarios has struck a chord with you, or if your Social Intelligence could do with a bit of a boost, The Power of Social Intelligence is designed to help you.
‘Social Intelligence’ is simply the degree to which we ‘get along with’ and relate to other people around us. Human beings are, after all, social animals, and this ability is absolutely vital if we are to get on in life and enjoy ourselves.
Social Intelligence – A Definition
Almost all of us, if we are being honest, would admit that our ‘social skills’ could do with a quick polish, and there is a vast range of skills which comprise Social Intelligence.
To begin with, you need to be able to relate to people on a one-to-one basis, in small groups, to a whole roomful of people, and to even larger gatherings. You are involved in Brain-to-Brain communication. The human brain is the most complex, sophisticated and powerful organ in the known universe. To deal with one (your own!) is a hard-enough task. To deal simultaneously with large numbers of other brains successfully is surely a sign of genius!
Socially Intelligent people have to use all of the power of their own brains and bodies to communicate with and to ‘read’ others. They have to acquire attitudes that encourage others to grow, create, communicate and befriend, and they have to know both how to make and to keep friends!
This massively important intelligence also involves being able to negotiate, as a skilled canoeist does, the rapids of conflict and negotiation situations, mistakes and endings.
All of these skills require that the Socially Intelligent person is a superb conversationalist and listener, able to relate successfully with the wider world. Socially Intelligent people are comfortable with others from different backgrounds, ages, cultures and social strata, and (more importantly) are able to make those people feel relaxed and comfortable around them.
Managers need Social Intelligence to do their jobs effectively. So do sales assistants, receptionists, teachers, doctors, social workers, hotel staff … in fact, anyone who deals with any other people at all in the course of their day! Social IQ is one of the most important and beneficial intelligences that we can cultivate – and the good news is, it can be cultivated!
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