Published by HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd The News Building 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF
First published in Great Britain by Preface Publishing 2009
Published by Arrow Books 2010 This edition published by Harper 2017
Copyright © Kimberley Chambers 2009
Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers 2017 Cover photographs © plainpicture/Mihaela Ninic (woman); plainpicture/Rick Porritt (background).
Kimberley Chambers asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.
A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.
This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.
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Source ISBN: 9781409050070
Ebook Edition © Jan 2017 ISBN: 9780008228637 Version: 2016-12-14
In memory of
Mathew Hoxby
1973–2008
Goodnight you moonlight ladies,
Rock-a-bye sweet baby James.
Deep greens and blues are the colours I choose.
Won't you let me go down in my dreams
And rock-a-bye Sweet Baby James.
James Taylor
1970
Contents
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Four
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Six
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty-One
Chapter Forty-Two
Chapter Forty-Three
Chapter Forty-Four
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Also by Kimberley Chambers
About the Publisher
July 2006
‘I’m very sorry, Mrs Hutton, but we are talking weeks here, rather than months.’
Walking away from the hospital, I feel calmness within. My cancer has returned and being told I’m riddled with it was exactly what I’d expected. Unless you’ve had the dreaded disease, you wouldn’t know where I was coming from. Tiredness, lack of appetite, an inability to do the simple things that you once found so easy. The signs are plentiful. To put it bluntly, you just know when you’re dying.
As I sit on the bus, I gaze out of the window. Deep in thought, I watch the world go by. As strange as it may seem, I notice silly things. Mothers doing school runs in their luxury four-wheel drives, children as young as ten chatting away happily on mobile phones. Smiley, happy people, who wouldn’t know hardship if it smacked them in the face.
Not wanting to become bitter, I turn away from the window and think about my own life. I take my pad and pen out of