The REAL RULES
HOW TO FIND THE RIGHT MAN FOR THE REAL YOU
Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D.
CONTENTS
Part 1 THE REAL RULES: WHAT THEY ARE AND WHY YOU NEED THEM
How to Stop Sabotaging Your Love Life With the Old Rules
Part 2 THE REAL RULES FOR FINDING THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP
REAL RULE #1: Treat Men the Way You Want Them to Treat You
REAL RULE #2: Remember That Men Need as Much Love and Reassurance as You Do
REAL RULE #3: Stay Away From Men Who Don’t Like The Real Rules
REAL RULE #4: Don’t Play Games
REAL RULE #6: If You Like Someone, Let Him Know
REAL RULE #7: Ask Questions Before You Get Too Involved
REAL RULE #8: Don’t Date Men Who Aren’t Completely Available
REAL RULE #9: Look for a Man With Good Character
REAL RULE #10: Pay Attention to Warning Signs of Possible Problems
REAL RULE #11: Judge a Man by the Size of His Heart, Not by the Size of His Wallet
REAL RULE #12: Be Fair: Don’t Practice Double Standards
REAL RULE #13: Don’t Fall in Love With a Man’s Potential
Part 3 THE REAL RULES FOR COMMUNICATING WITH MEN
REAL RULE #14: Be Honest About Your Feelings
REAL RULE #15: Show Your Most Attractive Feature—Your Mind
REAL RULE #16: Be Emotionally Generous, Not Emotionally Stingy
Part 4 THE REAL RULES ABOUT SEX
REAL RULE #17: Wait Until You Are Emotionally Intimate Before Becoming Sexually Intimate
REAL RULE #18: Don’t Lower Yourself to Behaving Like a Sex Object
REAL RULE #19: Apply The Real Rules in Bed
Part 5 THE REAL RULES ABOUT GETTING A MAN TO MAKE A COMMITMENT
REAL RULE #20: Make Sure Your Relationship Goes Through the Four Stages of Commitment
REAL RULE #21: Emotional Commitments Are More Valuable Than an Engagement Ring
REAL RULE #22: Never Pressure a Man Into Making a Commitment
Part 6 HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE WITH THE REAL RULES
REAL RULE #23: Be Patient as You Switch From the Old Rules to the Real Rules
REAL RULE #24: Protect Yourself With Your Head, Not Your Heart
REAL RULE #25: Use The Real Rules With Everyone in Your Life
Let me tell you the story of how I decided to write The Real Rules:
One day in the fall of 1996, I was having lunch with several female friends. As we started on our salads, one of the women asked: “So Barbara, what do you think of that book everyone’s talking about—The Rules?” Now, I’d heard about this book which supposedly tells women how to get a man to marry them, but hadn’t actually seen it, so I answered frankly, “I haven’t read it.”
“You haven’t?” She reached into her purse and handed me a small paperback. “Here—someone in my office just gave me this as a joke. You aren’t going to believe this book!”
Now I was intrigued. Naturally, over the years, as a leading authority on relationships, I’ve always been asked my opinion about other books on love, but even when I’ve disagreed with the author’s thinking, I have never publicly criticized what I’ve read—that’s just not my style. And so I was