Zero tolerance
Ilya Marushchak
Parallel universes do exist, and sometimes we find ourselves there, but, being too confident of our exclusiveness, we never realize being there.
© Ilya Marushchak, 2017
ISBN 978-5-4485-8185-4
Created with Ridero smart publishing system
Chapter 1. Who is this book for?
Every book has its reader. It doesn’t matter whether the author was aiming at them in the first place or whether some specific type of people becomes the recipients of the writer’s message, but every book has its niche. It’s different with this book. Anyone who can imagine for a moment that they are going to live in Asia for a considerable amount of time might get interested in this book, and it will be helpful.
When you think of living somewhere else, you inevitably think about the money you need. Well, if you’re not some kind of a beneficiary enjoying your life with no need for working hard to earn daily bread. I think it is clear for everyone now that we’re going to talk about Asia. It’s the part of the world that, in fact, is a parallel universe for “westerners”. Why do I call it so? Come here and stay for a few years, you will have your own perfect idea of everything, if only you’re not too lazy to analyze things. I label Asia like this because Southeast Asian countries have a very long history of social development, and, until quite recently, all of them were closed for any mutual interference of not only the “western” culture, but, mostly, the neighbouring cultures as well. Believe me, underneath this thin ice of familiarity on the surface that seemingly resembles of our culture concepts, there is an ancient civilization with thousands years behind. “Western values” are a parallel universe for this civilization too. Despite the cross-cultural interaction of our worlds, it doesn’t go any further than the economic cooperation yet. But even this kind of cooperation only concerns macroeconomics without deeper effect. These days the universe of SEA, with its unimaginable pace of economic development, becomes more attractive for individuals who, due to different reasons, try to build their life and career there, or, at least, have started to seriously consider it. There are many people like this, but they can be easily divided in a few categories.
I guess the largest group involves employees hired by Asian companies that attract more and more foreigners these days. Asian companies have offices all over Europe and America where most of the staff members represent the “Western civilization”. But now Asian companies extensively hire foreign employees for their offices in Asia too. These companies are not huge international corporations; more often they are small or medium firms operating at the local markets only. Regardless of how big the company is there will always be significantly fewer foreign employees than the local ones, so they will have to work under the conditions of the “parallel universe”. So, first of all, this book is for them.
The next large group of my readers includes those people who decided to try and start their business in this part of the world. Small western companies along with individual businessmen and merchants have been massively longing for SEA for the last several years. Economic upswing, increase in population and its growing wealth give more business opportunities not only for global international giants but for individual venturers as well. But while large international companies can afford to play by international rules, small firms (and individual businesses, of course), again, have to live and work under the conditions of the “parallel universe”.
In the context of the worldwide globalization people’s way of thinking transforms accordingly. People get new ideas and they quickly become world trends or stereotypes. Whatever works. One of such ideas proclaims that in order to provide yourself a decent living wage in Asian countries (where it is so cheap, warm, exotic – name it) you only have to work a couple of hours a day, enlighten ignorant locals about blessings of the Western civilization and sunbathe on the beach or enjoy your hobby for the rest of your time. As a result, the “globalization generation” is striving for Asia. They are reaching out for self-support, independence and everything that the globalizing world can offer them. The fate has something different for them in stock though. Anyway, there are so many people of this type that this book will be apparently useful for them too.
Besides, everyone who probably doesn’t have to make money here but would like to integrate into Asian society for some time will also find some tips in this book. For example, someone has come here for work or business and their family have followed them. Lack of social interaction and familiar cultural environment can be devastating for any immigrants, whether they’re here for a long time or just for temporary residence. The more different the foreign mindset is, the more complicated it is to get used to it. I think everyone has already learned the simple truth: even if you speak one language it doesn’t necessarily mean that you understand each other.
Even the happiest family cannot stay socially and culturally isolated for long. Expat communities are not always a satisfactory substitute for what people left back home.
This “parallel mindset guide-book” will be helpful for everyone whose comfort, wealth and success largely depend on social relations and communication skills.
I have to mention one very important point before I continue. There will be no search for general “humanistic ideals”, no attempts to “understand each other”, no recommendations about “how to become a local” or “how to make 1000 Asian friends”. In this book you will find purely pragmatic tips for building bridges that will lead you to getting the most out of it depending on what you actually need. Some will probably think that my views are too tough and exactly opposite to what western psychologists and communication strategists would teach you. In fact, it’s true. I don’t have much in common with them. I have deliberately chosen this line against the modern mainstream social trends. Many of those who have been born and raised in the world of western cultural values might think that some aspects of social interaction in Asia are ill-favoured and inhumane, so they are constantly trying to “translate” them into more familiar forms to be able to put up with them and keep feeling comfortable in social interaction.
But, mark my words, when for the first time you lose a big amount of money or a good job because they crash against the iceberg of “different mindset”, your humanistic beliefs will fade a bit. It’s only up to you whether to use this information or not, but it won’t hurt to know anyway.
Chapter 2. Who are you here?
This chapter might hurt somebody’s self-esteem. I mean both those who regard themselves as experts in some field and also those who are supposed to be successful businessmen.
I’ll try and sugarcoat it from the beginning. Most probably, your self-rating is realistic. But bear in mind, it is realistic according to the reality of the western world. Local reality makes some difference. It is extremely important to realize it and accept as a given, because this will be the basis for all of your future communication “matrix”.
The optimum alternative for the start is to tell yourself: “I am an alien. I don’t know anything. I don’t understand what’s going on here. My experience is not an established truth. All seemingly familiar external evidence might turn out to be something completely different”.
This approach will help you not to delude yourself with any “familiar” things before you really check and study all the information. Besides, your past experience in social interaction and building relationships is not helpful at all here. There is one most important reason for it. You don’t understand what motivates people in every specific case. You might have an impression that something is similar to what you dealt with before. You might imagine the differences are not so big. This will be your biggest mistake. In some (very simple) situations your experience will be useful, of course, but it is always better to spend some time and analyze the motives of the opposite side in details beforehand (well, or later, when something goes wrong). Never jump to conclusions before you get a store of knowledge about this place.
I will repeat it again and again. You are among people whose civilization background goes back thousands of years and hasn’t really changed